---
I walked outside down the road towards my house. When I passed a dark alley, I heard something…it sounded like someone was crying…crying in pain. I walked down the alley to see what was happening.
“Hello?” I called. No one responded. The sobs became louder as I approached a rusted, stenchful dumpster. It sounded familiar.
“Adam!” I cried when I saw him, burning himself with a tarnished metal hair barette.
“Stop! Adam, stop it!” I said snatching the barette from his hand.
He was crying…in pain and in emotional hurt.
“Maggie, go away. This alley is dangerous.” He told me sniffling.
“Which is why I wanted to know who was down here. Why are you doing this to yourself?” I demanded.
Adam started to sob again. “I’m so unhappy, Maggie. I’m pretending to be someone…something I’m not.“
Something caught my eye; this wasn’t the first time he’d done this because there were scars from previous incidents.
“Adam…Oh my God. “ I whispered, fastening the bandage up. “Come on. Let’s get you back to my house. It’s freezing out here.”
We got back to my house, and I heard my mom filling up a pot full of water; she was making spaghetti for dinner. I also heard her on the phone so I snuck Adam up to my room.
“Stay right here.” I dashed to my bathroom and rummaged through my medicine cabinet and found a gauze pad and some medicated wipes.
When I got back to my room, I found Adam standing and examining himself in the mirror, obviously thinking of ways to downsize his chest. He jumped when he heard my door creak open. “Sorry. I was just…”
“It’s okay. You don't have to explain..” I said before he finished speaking. “Sit down. Let’s have a look.”
He sat down on my bed and held out his arms. I rolled up his sleeve, carefully, and when I saw the fresh burn from the barette, I cringed; I felt the burns on my own skin when I saw it. I took out a medicated wipe and said, “This may sting a little bit.”
He flinched when the pad touched his arm. “Sorry.” I whispered, wiping his arm gently with the pad. I unraveled the gauze, put some neosporin on it and carefully wrapped it around his arm.
---
---
“Adam, I really think that you need to get professional help. I think if you opened up about what you’re feeling inside it would do you a lot of good.” I pleaded to him as we walked on our way back to my house.
“I don’t know. I mean, they’re going to ask me why I did it.”
“Well, all you have to say is that you’re going through a rough time right now, and you wouldn’t like to specify. But, if you do decide to specify what you’re struggling with, you can be assured that no one will cast judgment on you. Nothing you tell them will scare them, or cause them to form a different opinion on you. I went there when I had an eating disorder.”
Adam shook his head. “I don’t know, Maggie. I’m scared.”
I sighed. “I know. But, if you do decide to go, I’ll be right there with you. If you want me to be.”
Adam smiled. “Okay.” He replied.
I held out my arm for him and said, “Come on. Let’s take on today together.”
He linked back with me and laughed as we walked up the steps to school.
---
---“Hello, everyone. Welcome to this week’s meeting for LGBT of Degrassi. My name is Mrs. Chepirro, and the only reason I say that is because I see a couple of new faces here today. Would you please introduce yourselves?” The counselor of the LGBT group asked, gesturing towards Adam and I.
Adam sighed and rose from his seat. “Uhh, I’m Adam. Adam Torres. Some of you might know my brother, Drew, he’s QB 2 for the Panthers. This is my friend, Maggie. She’s here as my support system today.”
Everyone gave us a warm, friendly smile: I looked quickly around the room to see if I would recognize anyone. Nope. No one.
“Well, Adam, we’re all really glad you’re here. Now, if you feel comfortable enough, would you mind sharing why you’ve come here today?” Mrs. Chepirro asked.
The room fell silent; I was sure I could hear Adam’s heart pounding, about to burst through his chest.
“Um. Well, okay,” Adam began, “I’m…” he began. I squeezed his hand. “I’m…an FTM. A female to male transgendered. I’m 100% dude between the ears. It’s just that…I was born in a girl’s body.”
Way to go Adam, I cheered in my head. I felt his body relax under my arm.
“Well, Adam. Thank you very much for being so open about this. How did you cope with this situation at first?”
“When I was Gracie, that was my name when I was a girl, I would…burn myself. With my hair barrette that I would wear in my hair to school.”
There were scattered gasps among the group; one other girl had tears in her eyes, and she wasn’t the only one.
“Adam, would you show us the scars?” Mrs. Chepirro asked.
Adam rolled up his sleeve and when I saw the scars, tears came flowing down again.
“Maggie, do you have something you’d like to add?” Mrs. Chepirro asked.
I just shook my head. “No. I’m sorry.”
“Adam, this is why you have to stop. You have people around you, who love you so much, that when you burn yourself, you’re burning them too. They feel your pain as intensely as you do.”
“I know that. Now that Maggie’s shown me how badly it’s hurting her.” Adam said, lacing his fingers with mine.
I looked up at him, tears still falling. I felt a nudge from the person on my right handing me a boxes of tissues. I nodded and took one from the box, wiping my eyes. Great, I looked like a mess. Thankfully it was the end of the day.
“Well, Adam, we’re going to help you get through this. And, Maggie, we’d love to have you as a part of the group as well.” Mrs. Chepirro said, leaning in to Adam and I. I fell into Adam’s chest, wrapping my arms around him, holding on to his neck.
There was a soft round of applause, which basically wrapped up the session for the day.
---
“Thanks a million for coming with me today. I don’t think I could’ve done that without you.” Adam told me as he and I were walking home.
“It’s no problem.” I said quietly; I was still upset about what happened in the group that day. We were walking towards a park bench and we sat down.
By the time we had sat down, I had tears brimming my eyes.
I wiped my eyes and sniffled loud enough to where Adam heard me and looked at me. “What’s wrong?”
I just shook my head. I was heartbroken that people were so cruel to others. “It’s not fair.” I said.
“What isn’t fair?” he asked.
“The way people treat you…because they know what your situation is.” I just shook my head and buried my face in my hands.
Adam looked at me, and took my wrists away from my face. “Maggie, please. Don’t cry for me. This was my mistake.” He said as he wiped my tears away with his fingers. “Please. Don’t…don’t cry for me.” He pulled me to his chest and hugged me tight.
I was devastated; why hadn’t I seen how he’d been hurting so badly from all of the teasing at school?
I sighed again. “I promise. I would never hurt you, or treat you the way people do at school. It breaks my heart. I had to excuse myself from class that day when I’d heard that you’d been slammed through a door in the hallway. Why do they do this to you? Why can’t they leave you alone?” I said, almost shouting, my hands clenched and tears beginning to spill over my cheeks.
“Maggie, look at me. I’m okay. I promise I’m okay.”
“Adam,” I said through sobs, “can I tell you something?”
He nodded. “Anything.”
“I know that you’re a girl, transgendered into a male…and I don’t care. I think you’re just as much a man, than any guy I’ve met at Degrassi.”
Adam looked taken back. “Really?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
He looked at loss for words. A small grin began to play on his lips. He began to lean in toward me, and I reciprocated and leaned towards him. Our lips met in a soft, sweet kiss. He placed his hand on my neck as he kissed me again and I grabbed onto his jacket, steadying myself from the rush his kiss gave me.
When we parted, I leaned my forehead against his and closed my eyes.
There is more to it than this section; let me know what you think and I'll keep going. Thanks! :)
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